Slipping Through the Cracks
by Lovers Lymric Passions Poet
Summary: The next day when Rachel saw Santana in school she just knew, just like she always knew. She watched as Santana held her head down and went through the day invisible. That's when Rachel promised that she would slip through the cracks of Santana's walls.
1. Shell

Slipping Through the Cracks

Chapter 1: Shell

She couldn't believe this was happening. _Never _has this ever happened to her. She was Santana Fucking Lopez. Yet here she was, in the girl's 2nd floor bathroom crying her eyes out. She just told Brittany that she was head over heals _in_ _love _with her and Brittany turns her down for Artie. After that, she did the only thing she knew she could do and that was run. She ran into the girls bathroom, this one particularly because this is where no one went since the janator's neglected to clean it last year. Then, everyone just forgot it existed. Well, at least that's what Santana _thought._

The door opens and she jumps. No sooner does Rachel Berry walk in and look right at her. That's when Santana knows that she _knows. _Santana doesn't know what to think or what to say so she just stares back at Rachel, wiping her ever flooding eyes furiously. It seems like years before Rachel speaks.

"Santana," She says hesitantly,"I saw you and Brittany in the hallway talking-"

After that Santana does what she always did. She puts on her bitch attitude and she pretends.

"I don't know what you are talking about _Man Hands."_

She doesn't flinch and Santana curses herself for even trying,"Don't try that with me _Lopez,"_ Santana flinches, but only slightly,"everyone knows what is going on with you and Brittany except Finn, Sam and maybe Artie. I just wanted to talk to you and give you some empathy-"

Santana again interrupts Rachel,"Don't give me that 'I know what you're going through speach' because you have NO idea!"

Then she ran. Ran out of the school and out onto the streets and into her house until she was safely in her room. Then, once she found the safety of her bed did she let anymore tears fall. She didn't care that she didn't stop crying for hours or that Brittany was probably ogling over Artie right now as he serenaded her. All she cared about was that out of all the people to come and find her it was Rachel. Rachel. The girl she tormented so harshley for years. The girl who she spent so many hours over making up harsh names and retorts about the way she dresses. The girl who would get out of this town and make a name of herself. The girl who Santana resented _so much_ because she wasn't afraid sto show the world who she was no matter how much it tried to push her down. The girl who could use the information she has to ruin Santana's life. But she won't. Santana knows that Rachel won't because Rachel tried to talk to her and tried to help her feel less alone.

Santana was afraid. Afraid that her emotions would overwhelm her and she would loose control and hurt all the people she cared about. She cried harder because all the people she cared about, probably didn't even give a damn about her.

From this night on Santana promised herself that she would build her walls bigger and thicker than ever before. She wouldn't let anyone in. She wouldn't have to feel pain even though she was lonely. She wouldn't let anyone in no matter how hard they would try because they would give up on her anyways.

Santana became a shell of what she was before. If you asked her, she would have said it wasn't much of a difference.

* * *

><p>The next day when Rachel saw Santana in school she just <em>knew, <em>just like she always knew. She watched as Santana held her head down and went through the day invisible. That's when Rachel promised that she would slip through the cracks of Santana's walls and repair her, and she would never give up.

Santana was a shell. If you asked Rachel, she would have said there was a big difference because when you are feeling angry, at least you are feeling.

* * *

><p><strong>AN1: WELL THIS IS MY SECOND STORY AND I THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE A PEZBERRY FOR YOU GUYS SINCE I AM DOING BRITTANA AND FABERRY IN MY OTHER STORY. THIS ONE IS GOING TO BE DEPRESSING BECAUSE THERE WILL BE SELF HARM AND DRUG USE.<strong>

**AN2:I'M GOING TO TRY TO UPDATE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE SINCE I JUST LOVE WRITING! I'LL TRY TO RECOGNIZE ANYONE WHO REVIEWS.**

**AQ1: SHOULD I CONTINUE WITH BOTH OF MY STORIES? (P.S. I AM ANYWAYS I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT MY READERS THINK, YOU'RE OPINION REALLY MATTERS TO ME)**

**AQ2:SHOULD I MAKE A QUINTANY PAIRING FOR THIS STORY? OR JUST LEAVE IT BARTIE AND QUAM?**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GLEE OR ANY OF IT'S PLOTS OR CHARACTERS, JUST MY PLOT.**


	2. Castle Walls

Chapter 2: Castle Walls

It's been a week. A week since Santana retreated behind her walls. She was now sitting alone in the chior room. Practice went like normal, or as normal as it could go. The Glee members had already seen her through the week. To say the least, they were shocked. Every time they had said something or passed her in the hallway, they expected her to make a rude comment or to give them a glare that could kill. Instead she just walked by, not even bothering to acknowledge any of them. Then, when Friday came and all she did was sit and just do whatever Mr. Shue told them to do for their ruitine that had been prepared for Regionals, no one even blinked an eye. Just like she predicted.

Brittany kept giving her sad looks but never came over to her. Puck tried talking to her for God only knows, but walked away when all she gave him was a blank stare. No one in Glee even gave her a glance. Well, all except Rachel.

Rachel was hiding outside of the chior room. She had forgotten her bag and went to retrieve it. When she looked through the window she saw Santana, sitting alone at the piano and decided to see what the once fiesty latina would do. What seemed like ages, was only ten minutes. Rachel was debating whether to just go in and grab her bag or just wait. Just as she was about to go in, something amazing, or at least for Rachel, happened.

Santana started to play a few keys on the piano. It was a tune she knew to well. She then started to sing.

_Everyone thinks that I have it all,_

_ But it's so empty livin behind these castle walls,_

_ These castle walls,_

_ If I should tumble,_

_ If I should fall,_

_ Would anyone hear me screaming behind these castle walls,_

_ There's no one here at all,_

_ Behind these castle walls._

After that, Santana was silent. It took Rachel a second or two to realise the latina was crying. Her back was shaking and her hands were over her eyes. If this were anyone else, they might have left the poor girl there, but Rachel wasn't just any girl. She opened the door and walked in.

Santana jumped. She turned around and saw none other than Rachel. A week ago she would have yelled at her and told her to leave, probably calling her Manhands, Dwarf, Rupaul or any other names she could think of. But now, all she did was wipe her tears and retreat. She watched as Rachel crossed the room and picked up her bag. Santanan didn't even notice that it was there and cursed herself. If she noticed that bag she would have left she had to sit and wait. Or did she really have to wait? Maybe she wanted to but at that moment, she was glued to the bench she was sitting on.

That was what Rachel couldn't understand. Usually when Santana was faced with a problem or confronted with a situation, she ran, but not she was just watching Rachel organize her books in her bag. With the intent the taller girl was watching her, Rachel would have thought she was planning something evil that could possibly push Rachel farther down on the social ladder. Now though, Rachel just knew that Santana wasn't planning anything. Just probably waiting for her to get out of the room so she could continue being lost in her thoughts and emotions.

Rachel picked up her bag and turned around to see that Santana _was _staring at her. She looked down and could feel the heat rise up on her kneck. No one had ever looked at her like _that._ Like she was a riddle that needed to be solved. No one had ever intently _studied _her. It made Rachel feel like a rat that was being tested on. It upset her to think that Santana thought of her as and experiment but she didn't let it show. Her heart was pumping in her chest and she was blushing. They were having a staring contest, but Santana wasn't just staring at her eyes. She was looking at everything Rachel was doing, which was pretty much fidgeting uncomfortably. Rachel couldn't bear her intent gaze. Rachel's ohone vibrated making her realize that they were staring at eachother for too long. So she looked down and checked her phone.

Her dad had texted her telling her that the car was running. She didn't realize that she was in here for 20 minutes. Blinking her suprisingly dry eyes she turned to leave, but a sudden thought occured to her. She turned and looked at Santana who was, suprisingly, still staring at her.

"Santana," Her voice was soft but it sounded like she yelled in the stifling quiet room, "where is your ride home?"

Santana just shrugged. She would just walk home like she always did. No one noticed because she made sure to be the last one to leave. There was a lot of things people didn't notice about her but she really could care less now.

"Well my dad is outside waiting and he would be glad to give you a ride. That is, if you want one. I can fully understand if you don't want a ride. Especially since it is me. Not that I'm stating that you would hate me, and I'm not stating that you dont either it's just-"

"Okay," it was barely a whisper but it was enough to shut Rachel up.

Santana sounded...empty. She didn't sound mad, or sad or even broken. She just sounded like she was a shell and not really there. When the latina stood up she held her head down and slouched her shoulders, not the 'I'm going to rule the world one day' stance she usually wore.

They walked outside together and rachel pulled her hood over her head. Santana's hair was getting soaked but she looked like she didn't care. They walked to Rachel's dad's car and got in.A small man with big glasses turns around and looks at them.

"Who is this sweety?" he asks, but by the look on his face, Santana knows that he knows _exactly _who she is.

"Dad," Rachel warns, "this is Santana. Santana, this is my dad Charley. We are going to be taking her home since she does not have a ride."

"And why is that?" He asks.

Santana just shrugged, "My parents work...late."

Charley's eyes soon grow compassonate and Santana can't bare to look him in the eyes so she looks out the window.

"I know where she lives dad so I'll give you the directions, seeing that Santana ins't having a good day." _More like a bad week, _Rachel wanted to say.

They drove in an uncomfortable silence after that. It only being interrupted when Rachel would tell her dad where to turn. When they arrived at Santana's...castle, she got out with a mumble of thanks to Rachel's dad and entered her house. Rachel understood that Santana wanted to be lost with her thoughts and emotions. All Rachel wanted to do was march into Santana's house and talk to the latina until she was forced to speak and tell her to shutup. Because all of the anger sadness the taller brunette must feel will make her explode and will hurt her _so _bad.

All Rachel wanted to do was walk into the latina's house and help her find herself. But they were already on Rachel's street before she was able to act out on it.

**AN1: HEY GUYS THIS IS MY SECOND CHAPTER. I TRIED TO MAKE IT LONGER THAN MY LAST ONE BECAUSE THE 1ST CHAPTER WAS SO SHORT.**

**AN2: THANX TO SOME INFORMATION FROM dhampirskylar I AM NOW KEEPING QUAM AND I MIGHT MAKE A LITTLE BRIN WITH BRITTANY AND FINN... ARTIE IS JUST GONNA BE ALONE :( AND PUCK AND LAUREN ARE GONNA STAY TOGETHER BECAUSE... WELL LAUREN KEEPS HIM TAMED AND THEY ARE SO CUTE.**

**AQ1: ANY QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO VERIFY?**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY PART OF GLEE :(((((**


	3. Closer

Chapter 3 Closer

Santana closed the door in her house. She couldn't shake the feeling that Rachel was going to enter her house at any given moment. She couldn't remember the last time she let someone close to her in a month. She just let Rachel take her home everyday after the first, and she couldn't stop blaming herself for letting someone in.

Her house was empty. Santana's mom was at City Hall, working on her big drug case. While her dad was at the ER doing... something... he was always there and never home.

Not for the first time in her life, Santana was alone. She felt miserable, hurt, and above all tired. Tired of everything. She pulled up her sleeves on her hoodie and examined the scars and cuts. She knew exactly what to do.

Running up to her bathroom, Santana pulled open the drawer and pulled out a blade. She went in her room and pulled out a pencil and a paper. If she was going to go, she wanted to give people a reason why.

_Dear... well... hi,_

_My name is Santana Lopez. No, not the bitch at school, the real me. I have never let anyone in. I have never felt so alone, that is, until Brittany. She was kind and bubbly and made me smile. She brought out the best in me. Then something happened. I fell in love. I fell in love hard and then I stopped, but my heart kept going and it turned to glass and shattered on the pavement below. I don't blame you, Brittany, I blame myself. For not being strong enough, for not being able to be with you the way you wanted me to, for everything. I know I may seem tough, and I may seem like I don't care about anyone or anything, but I do. I cared so much that about a month ago, I shut myself away so I wouldn't get hurt. I felt like everything was out to get me so I hid and the real me went and disappeared. _

_I'm tired._

_No, I'm exhausted. I have to pretend all the time and now I am going to let you see me before I go. I have spent every Christmas since I was five, alone. I have never had a Christmas dinner and my parents are never home. They work long hours because they do not want to spend time with a disappointment of a daughter. I love girls, like really love them and I'm scared because when I go to church they tell me it is so wrong. I'm so confused at what I should do. Am I an abomonation? A monster? They tell me people who are like me are cursed, but when I look at Rachel's dads, I see love. They have given there daughter more in a day than what my parents have given me in my life._

_Rachel..._

_You were the only one to actually try. You haven't given up and because I know this, it is going to be harder for me to go. But it's still not enough. I never meant to hurt you. It was just... expected of me. I know that you cry every night when someone calls you a name or slushies you... mainly that someone is me. I know you cry, because I do. Did you know that everytime I have walked up to you and called you a name, I actually try to talk to you, but then I get scared because people are staring and they judge my every move._

_I'm so sorry, to Brittany, to Rachel, to mom and dad, to everyone._

_Santana..._

Santana set the note down and folded it neatly. She went back into her bathroom and took out two pain pills. She took them and waited for the effects to take place. Then, she grabbed a blade and cut her wrists at the angle she knew to do it. She was losing her strength, and fell to the ground.

When Santana faded out, she heard someone scream.

Rachel entered Santana's house. The taller latina had forgotten her homework in the car.

"Santana?" Rachel called out. Where were her parents? There was a crash that came from upstairs. Rachel dropped the books and ran upstairs. She turned down the hall and entered the bathroom. Santana was there, lying on the floor with blood seeping out of her arms.

"Santana!" Rachel yelled. All that ran through her mind was, _No no no no no no no NO! _She searched through the cabinets and found the firs aid kit. She ripped the box open and quickly found the box of stitches. Bending down next to Santana, Rachel cleaned as much blood as she could from the latina's arms and started stitching. When Rachel was finished, she carried Santana into one of the rooms and saw the letter on the vanity. Rachel set Santana on the bed and picked up the note. Her hand reached up to her mouth as she cried.

Rachel grabbed her phone and called her dad.

_"Hello?"_

"Dad?"

_"Sweetie, what's wrong?"_

"Nothing, I just wanted to let you know that I will be staying at Santana's for winter break, well at least until Christmas. Could she join us?"

_"Um...Sure honey. Do you need anything?" _Rachel could tell he was hesitant, but he saw how broken the latina was, but only Rachel now knew just how broken.

"Just some clothes and my other stuff, it's all in my bag at home, you know the one."

_"Of course, I'll be there in a couple of minutes okay?"_

"Okay dad."

_"I love you."_

"Love you, too."

Rachel hung up her phone and reread the letter. She couldn't believe how much Santana was hurting and that Rachel didn't notice. To say she forgave the girl, well, not entirely, but knowing that the latina was just as scared as she was, helped the healing process. She just wanted to help the girl even more.

The doorbell rang and Rachel went downstairs and picked up her clothes. When her dad asked where Santana was, Rachel just said that she was in her room taking a nap.

When Rachel went into Santana's room, the latina was awake and sitting on her bed. She was examoning her stitches. When Rachel set her bags down, Santana turned and looked at her. Rachel sat down on the bed at they both stared at eachother.

Santana broke eye contact first. She spoke, but didn't look at Rachel, "I'm so ashamed." A single tear streamed down her face.

Rachel wiped it away,"Don't be."

"Why, Rachel? Why did you save me? I'm such a horrible person. I'm just a washed out slut. I'm not nice to anybody, especially you. I'm just... so broken."

"But... how do I put this?" Rachel searched for the right words to explain, "It's kinda like the saying 'When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.' But, if your lemon tree is cut down, you plant a new one. It will never be the same, but that doesn't mean it is worse. It could be better," Rachel took hold of Santana's hand, "And I want to help you get better."

A few tears slid down the latina's face as she nodded. Rachel reached over and gave Santana a hug. They stayed in eachother's embrace for a few minutes. They both needed it. Santana, because she needed to know that someone was there for her. Rachel needed it to know that Santana was willing to try.

Escaping the embrace, they sat in an awkward silence. Neither of them knew what to do.

Santana cleared her throat, "So, what are you doing for the break?"

"Well, I'm staying with you. And maybe... you could... I don't know..." Rachel didn't know why she was so shy now, a few minutes ago she could have just forced the latina to go with her to spend Christmas, but now, now she wasn't sure if the taller girl had plans or even wanted to spend Christmas with her.

"Spit it out Berry," Santana said. It didn't have its usual venom, more friendly.

"Would you like to join me for Christmas at my house?" Rachel blurted out, "Well, that is, if you don't already have plans. I just assumed that you wouldn't seeing that your parents are barely home. Not that I'm saying that your parents don't care about you. I don't know if you have plans with someone else, just that you didn't mention anything about it, but you probably wouldn't since you have been less than verbose lately. I'm not sure that your parents or family even celebrates Christmas, just that I read your letter-" Santana's eyes widened and Rachel knew she made a mistake.

"Y-you read that?" The tall brunettes eyes glanced at the piece of paper in Rachel's hand.

"I didn't mean to. It was just, I was so worried and it was there and I read it because I was really scared for you-" Rachel realized that Santana wasn't mad, more like... smiling. It wasn't a forced one or one that would make Rachel's skin crawl knowing that the latina was plotting against her, this on was a sincere smile. Santana was happy that Rachel cared about her enough to worry.

"You're smiling," Rachel said out of breathe.

"You're rambling," Santana replied, no longer being able to contain her amusement.

That caused Rachel to let out and indignant huff and cross her arms. This only caused Santana's smile to grow. Rachel knew she couldn't stay mad at the taller girl with _that_ look on her face. Doesn't mean that she didn't try, it's just that she didn't succeed.

"Yes."

"Yes what?" Rachel questioned.

"I could go to Christmas dinner with you."

This time, Rachel didn't bother hiding her smile.

**AN1: HELLO! I AM GOING TO BE POSTING TWO CHAPTERS BECAUSE I HAVE AN IDEA IN MY HEAD AND I CAN'T GET IT OUT. SO THIS IS A LITTLE PRESENT FOR YOU GUYS! YAY! YOU GET A LONGER CHAPTER AND ANOTHER ONE ALL IN ONE DAY! **

**AN2: I'M GOING TO BE POSTING CHAPTERS THAT ARE ABOUT THE HOLIDAY AND I WILL BE POSTING ONE ON CHRISTMAS, AND THAT WILL BE THE ONE WHERE THEY GO TO RACHEL'S HOUSE!**

**AN3: I'M THINKING ABOUT DOING AT LEAST 15 OR MORE CHAPTERS TO THIS STORY, SINCE IT IS GOING REALLY FAST. BUT I WILL BE SLOWING IT DOWN A LITTLE BECAUSE SANTANA STILL NEEDS TO GET PAST SOME THINGS.**

**AN4: THIS CHAPTER MAY SEEM A LITTLE FAST FOR SANTANA'S PROGRESS, BUT KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS IS A MONTH AFTER SHE TOLD BRITTANY SHE LOVED HER. I'M SORT OF BRINGING WHEN SANTANA TELLS BRITTANY A LITTLE BIT BACK IN TIME BUT OTHER THAN THAT, EVERYTHING WILL FLOW NATURALY.**

**AN5: I'M ONLY GOING TO DO A LITTLE FIN BASHIING, BUT THEN HE WILL BE SWEET, SO IT'S SORT OF THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.**

**AQ1:HOW LONG WOULD YOU LIKE THE STORY TO BE?**

**AQ2: IS IT GOING TO FAST FOR YOUR LIKING?**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY PART OF GLEE -SAD FACE-**


	4. Try

Chapter 4: Try

Rachel woke up with a start. Someone was shaking her. She rubbed her eyes and took a second or two to realize that she was at Santana's house. It took another second to realize that Santana was waking her up.

"Santana?" Rachel said asa she sat up, "What's wrong?"

Santana stood there and looked down, "I, um, had a nightmare and I was wondering if I could lay with you?" Santana scuffed her foot on the floor and Rachel couldn't help but think it was the most innocent gesture she has ever seen someone do, especially Santana.

What Rachel didn't know was that for the last two months, Santana had been having the same nightmare over and over. Brittany would usually hold her, but then Santana stopped existing and had to deal with her nightmares alone. It usually started as someone standing at the end of a coorider and the latina running after that person. After a while, she would get tired and end up encompassed in black. She would try to scream, to move, to do anything, but nothing worked. Her eyes would search for someone, but there wouldn't be anyone. She then would hear a taunting voice in her head telling her that she would always be alone. At that point, Santana would wake up.

Rachel moved over and aloud the taller brunette to slide in with her. Santana turned on her side, not facing Rachel. She was too embarrassed to face her. Rachel moved close to Santana and put her arm around the latina.

"Thanks, Rachel," Santana whispered.

Rachel just nodded.

* * *

><p>The alarm clocked blared with rock music.<p>

Santana jumped up and would have flailed her arms out, except, she was attatched to something. So, instead, Santana and that something toppled onto the floor. Santana's fall was coushoned by whatever she was entangled with. It took a minute for her to realize that, that someing was actually Rachel, whose face was buried in Santana's shoulder.

"Santana," Rachel's muffled voice came below her, "why the hell would you set your alarm clock? Oh, and I would appriciate it if you would kindly remove your body from mine."

Santana pushes her arms off of the ground and was about to get up, but then looked at Rachel. The smaller brunettes face was flushed and Santana had the strange urge to kiss her, but Rachel blushed and looked away and the spell was broken. The latina then tried to remove her legs but they were entangled with Rachel's. Santana tried shifting her legs but ended up loosing her girp and falling back on top of Rachel.

"Umm, you're going to have to get your legs off of mine before I can get off of you or we are going to be like this for a long time," Santana said, but not with her usual malice.

Rachel made a squeaking noise and that's when Santana realised that she had her knee pushed up... well... you know where. Santana tried removing her leg but ended up getting both of their legs sort of... puched into their sexes. They both groaned simultaniously and stopped. They stared at each other and jumped up.

"Sorry," Santana whispered, feeling ashamed.

"For what?" Rachel asked, perplexed.

"Well, for, you know!" Santana could feel her face getting hotter.

Rachel grinned, "No, I think you are going to have to elaborate."

"You know what i'm talking about! Don't mess with me Berry!"

"Santana, you do know that if you come to Christmas dinner with me, you're going to have to call me something other than Berry, since there will be over ten "Berry's" there. We may get confused and I'm sure that they wouldn't appriciate it if you did a Berry 1, 2 ,3. Plus, I think that my parents would give you stern looks. Not to mention my grandparents. Ugh, you should have seen it. One time, Fin made the mistake of calling everybody by their first names without their permission and he left early. Not to mention when Jesse called everyone by our last names, including me, and he was sent home early because my parents thought it was rude. So you can call me Rachel and everybody else by their last name unless you are given permission to. Don't invite yourself into a conversation unless asked to join-"

"Berry..."

"Oh! And don't drink my aunts eggnog because one time-"

"Berry."

"But then again, the lamb did have eyes and that's why I have dedicated myself to-"

"RACHEL!"

Rachel closed her mouth and looked at Santana.

"Look, Christmas, it's two weeks away. So please, come back into bed with me because it is four AM in the fucking morning. My alarm must have went off at this ungodly hour because it is broken. Now let's just... sleep... please." Santana held open the cover for Rachel to crawl into. Rwhen they were both settled, they cuddled up against eachother.

"Goodnight Rachel."

"Goodnight Santana."

* * *

><p><strong>AN1: HEY GUYS THIS IS JUST SORT OF A FILLER CHAPTER. I KNOW I HAVEN'T POSTED IN A LONG TIME BUT I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU GUYS SOMETHING.<strong>

**AN2: I AM VERY SORRY FOR NOT POSTING A SECOND CHAPTER, I JUST GOT TO A POINT WHERE I HAD BRAIN FART.**

**AN3: IF YOU ARE WONDERING ABOUT 'HEAL' I WILL BE POSTING ANOTHER CHAPTER TOMARROW.**

**AN4: THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE PRETTY BRUTAL SO I WOULD SKIP IT IF YOU DON'T LIKE TO READ THAT STUFF, BUT IT DOES HAVE SOME MAJOR PEZBERYY MOMENTS! **

**AN5: PLEASE EXCUSE ANY MISTAKES, I JUST WANTED TO GET THIS TO YOU GUYS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GLEE...**


	5. Shopping and Sorrow

Chapter 5: Shopping and Sorrow

"SANTANA! STOP FOOLING AROUND THIS INSTANT! WE HAVE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING TO GET TO!" Rachel screamed.

Santana had found Rachel's many argyle sweaters and was sorting them accoring to animal. There were five stacks of carosoul horses, four stacks of pandas, and two stacks of owls. Santana was about to start sorting the knee high stockings but before she could get to them, Rachel had tackled her to the floor. Now they were both wrestling for dominance, neither winning, neither really trying.

Pinning Rachel's arms behind her head Santana smirked, "Fine, only if you can answer me one question."

"Oh I can't wait to hear what it is," Rachel said with a roll of her eyes.

"Where can I buy that many argyle? And those socks! I bet they are super comfy!"

With inhuman strength, Rachel threw Santana off of her and patted down her skirt. She gave an indignant huff and walked out of the room without another word to Santana, who followed her out.

"Rachel," Santana said, trying to get Rachel to look at her but failed miserably, "look, I'm sorry I made fun of your argyle okay? Why are you so mad about this? It didn't mean anything."

Rachel turned around and looked the latina straight in the eye. Pointing her index finger at the taller girl's chest she all but yelled, "That's EXACTLY why I'm mad, Santana. You thought you were just making fun of my sweaters but instead you were just making fun of me. I already humiliate myself infront of the student body, I don't need to be made fun of when I'm not in school, too. And the fact that it didn't mean anything to you just shows how much you take in other people's feelings into consideration! So just come with me and help pick out gifts and we'll be back to your house and can go to bed."

Before Santana could retort, Rachel stormed off. All the latina could do was follow the shorter girl to the car with her tail between her legs. The car ride was silent. The only other time Rachel was this quiet was the first time she drove Santana home. Every time Santana tried to apologize or say something to Rachel, the words would get stuck in her throat. Halway to the mall, Rachel started to feel bad for what she said to Santana, but didn't apologize, remembering all the times Santana could have apologized but didn't.

* * *

><p>As soon as they entered the mall, they went into the nearest clothing store. Buying gifts here and there. After that, a candle shop, then a DVD store. Rachel spent nearly two hours in that store. Santana had timed it perfectly, as soon as Rachel pressed the start button on her broadway cd, Santana booked it out of the store into the nearest jewelery store. She came out with a huge smile on her face and a small box that fit perfectly in her pocket.<p>

Sneaking back into the music store was tricky. Santana had to wait till Rachel turned around before being able to slip behind a cd rack. It wasn't until Rachel turned around that Santana frowned, remembering that Rachel was still mad at her. The taller brunnette looked down dejectedly and picked up the nearest case, Rachel's eyes still on her. It wasn't until she looked at the case tht she noticed it was the latest "Teletubbies" CD. Santana blushed and put it back down. It may have been embarrasing but it was worth it because the smaller girl's smile didn't go unnoticed.

Two hours later and twenty-two bags later, Santana and Rachel were ready to leave the mall. They still hadn't talked, but at least they could stand together without feeling too awkward. Just as they were about to leave, someone grabbed onto Santana's arm and turned her around. There, Santana was met in a bear hug, her head stuckc in blonde hair and her nose filled with the vanilla scent that was Brittany.

When the blonde pulled away, Santana saw the red eyes and tear streaks. She also noticed a certain crippled someone wasn't by the blonde's side. Right away the latina knew what happened and she didn't like it. Before she would have stomped off and beaten the shit out of Artie, but now, she gave Brittany another hug, whispering reassurances. Santana looked at Rachel, who nodded and walked off to put the bags in the car. This was their time. Santana needed this, they needed this.

After finding a seat at a coffee table, Brittany started to explain.

"Artie broke up with me. He said that I should stop sleeping with you. When I told him that I didn't see you for months he didn't believe me. He yelled at me for not being an adult and told me that I'm just going to be one of your toys, that I'm not different. That he shouldn't be wasting his time on someone who isn't smart enough to know what love is. But I do know what love is, I just don't know what one plus one is, I think it's fish because when a daddy fish and a mommy fish are together you get a baby fish. And he said that I don't love you I just think I do," By the end, Brittany wore a very confused, very troubled face.

Santana looked at her best friend, "You love me?"

Brittany gave her a look... but not an answer.

"Did you love me? Have you ever loved me?" Santana choked.

Grabbing Santana's hand Brittany spoke very softly,"You know I love you. But it's not the way you want me to. I'm really sorry San."

Suddenly the table they were at felt very small. It kept getting smaller. Santana felt so hurt, her heart had just crumbled and turned to dust. Getting up she ran out of the mall, ignoring the calls from Brittany to come back. It was raining outside and it was below twenty degrees, but all Santana could feel was her whole being leaving her body. She st on a stool and cried. She cried for so long and didn't know how long it had been before someone had put a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, Santana saw the deep brown eyes of Rachel Berry. This time, Santana didn't run, didn't continue to cry, didn't even play the bitch. All she did was put on a smile and acted.

"Lets just go bach to my house," She said.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked.

"Yep," Santana lied.

* * *

><p>As soon as they were in the house they dropped off the bags in Santana's living room. There was one thing Santana really needed now and she knew how to get it. Thinking of the plan quickly she turned and looked at Rachel.<p>

"Hey, can we go to bed, it's really late and I'm tired."

"Sure," Rachel said, her eyes solemn.

"Thanks, I'm just going to go get cleaned up." As Santana was halfway up the stairs she turned and looked at Rachel, "Are you going to sleep in my room?" She asked, almost pleadingly.

"Of course," Rachel nodded with a forced grin.

The latina nodded and walked upstairs. As she walked down the hallway, she noticed how bare the walls were. There wasn't a family here, just relatives. No one loved eachother or adored eachother here, they just put up with eachother. This wasn't Santana's home... just a building that she stayed at till she could leave it for good.

Reaching the bathroom Santana closed and locked the door. She turned toward her sink and pulled out the blades that were locked in her cabinet. Taking the sharpest one, Santana made three long cuts accross her back. As they bled she wrote one word on her hip; unloved. Santana was getting better, but now the sadness and the renewed heartbreak hurt. Another cut on her leg, she watched as the blood started to poor out. Everything was deeper than when she first started. It scarred Santana shitless.

She cleaned the wounds and herbathroom. She put on a tangtop and matching shorts. She opened the bathroom door and went to her room. Rachel was already in her bed and Santana climbed in. As soon as the latina turned on her side, her body was enveloped by Rachel's arms.

"I didn't mean what I said to you earlier today, I was just angry and tired. Wrestling with someone for an hour sort of does that to a person."

"It's okay, I just want to go to sleep right now," Santana said closing her eyes.

After about a a few minutes, it seemed that Santana was asleep. Rachel shifted the comforter and saw the three cuts on Santana's back. When Rachel moved to sit up to get a better look at them, the tangtop the latina was wearing moved up a little and exposed the words written on her hip. Hesitantly, Rachel placed her hand on the words, softly carressing them. Very carefully, as to not wake Santana up, Rachel moved her lips gently accross Santana's cuts. Rachel moved slowly, as if trying to heal them and the pain Santana felt, leaving goosebumps in her wake.

Rachel started to softly sing:

_Lights will guide you home,_

_And ignite your bones,_

_And I will try,_

_To fix you._

Rachel rested her head against Santana's back and kept her one hand on the cut on the latina's hand. Racheal's other free arm went between the space where the mattress and the curve of Santana's torso met and pulled the taller girl closer. After a few minutes, Racheal's breathing slowed down and she was sound asleep.

Little did Racheal know that Santana was awake the whole time. Tears streamed down her face, but this time, they were tears of joy.

* * *

><p><strong>AN1:HEY GUYS SORRY FOR THE DELAY. THIS TIME I'M GOING TO PUT ANOTER CHAPTER UP FOR SURE. THE NEXT CHAPTER IS CHRISTMAS SO YAY! <strong>

**AN2: DON'T HATE ON BRITTANY JUST YET, SHE MIGHT HAVE HURT SANTANA BUT THEY BOTH NEEDED IT. PLUS I'M DOING ONE FOR NEW YEARS AND THERE WILL BE SOME FIN BASHING BUT HE WILL BE SWEETER AFTERWARD**

**AQ1: HOW'S IT GOING SO FAR? ANYONE HATE ME YET?**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GLEE OR THE SONG FIX YOU BY COLDPLAY**

**RAMINDER DISCLAIMER: I FORGOT TO SAY THAT I DON'T OWN THE SONG CASTLE WALLS BY CHRISTINA AGULERA IN CHAPTER... 2?**

**AN3: I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE REVIEWED THIS STORY, IT REALLY MAKES ME HAPPY TO GET A GOOD REIEW! I DON'T REALLY EXPECT ANY BUT IT MAKES ME SMILE WHEN I DO GET ONE.**


	6. Christmas and Wishes

Chapter 6: Christmas and Wishes

December 25th will always be a day that Santana will remember till the day she dies. It all started with Rachel bringing Santana to her house. As soon as the door was open, the latina was pulled inside and smothered in hugs and kisses from very small, very loud, VERY talkative white christian people. They must have been on Racheal's dad Charlie's side because every one of them looked like him. Racheal's daddy, Alech, was tall muscular, and the jewish one. Alech may have seemed like the more strict, masculant one, but in all reality, Charlie was the one you had to be very weary of.

Charlie worked as the CEO for Lima's big time construction company. Alech was a carpentar but was the easiest to please. It seemed that Rachel had gotten her biological looks from Charlie and her kind, forgiving personality from Alech.

Right now Santana was sitting next to Rachel and her dad at the dinner table. Everyone was talking all at once and each person seemed to be talking in paragraphs. Santanta was already welcomed into the family, everyone there adored her, but she was still nervous that they would drop the bomb and ask why Santana had been toturing their relative for so long. After desert, Santana finally relaxed and soon everyone left.

The Berry house seemed unusually quiet after everyone left. Not that Santana missed the constant rambling that sounded like a herd of animals were constantly stomping around. Santana started to help Racheal and her parents clean up the mess. When they started to protest, Santana kindly explained that she use to always help at Brittany's or Quinn's house and that she really didn't mind doing it.

A half hour later, Rachel and Santana were on her couch, drinking soda and talking about whatever; the weather, parents, songs, but both avoiding the subject of school. After it got too awkward to talk anymore, they started to watch whatever Christmas specials were airing. Ten minutes into "A Christmas Carol" Santana started to humm the lyrics to the song Racheal had sung to her. The smaller girl glanced over at the latina, but didn't say anything and just smiled.

"Do you want to go outside?" Racheal asked.

"Um, sure," Santana replied.

Getting up from the couch and a quick shout to Racheal's dads, they started to walk toward the back porch. They exited the house and walked onto the patio. Racheal sat on the cushioned porch swing and patted the spot next to her. Santana quickly accepted it.

"Hey Rachel," Santana reached into her hoodie pocket and pulled out a smalle box, handing it to the smaller girl,"when we went Christmas shopping, I got this for you."

Rachel opened it and gasped at what was inside. She pulled out a beautiful charm necklace. It had her name encrusted in gold. On one side was a saphire colored star and on the other was a music note with a diamond at the end. Santana took the necklace as Rachel turned around and put it on the diva's neck.

"It's beautiful, but how did you pay for it?" Rachel asked, turning around.

"My parents supply me with a large amount of money in my own bank account," Santana laughed.

"Well," Rachel reached into her coat and pulled out a long, thin black box. Opening it she revealed a charm bracelet. The words 'Fix You' were chained onto it. There was a diamond encrusted heart with a band-aid on it, a four leafed clover for good luck and a blue tear drop. Then it letters were chained in this order, S, +, R, =. Santana plus Rachel equals. Santana let a tear fall down her face,"Rachel, this, this is the best present I ever got for Christmas."

"You didn't think I was going to let you go without a Christmas present this year did you?" the small brunette laughed.

"But when did you get it?" Santana asked.

"You're not the only one who can sneak out of the music store without the other person knowing," Rachel said, winking at Santana who looked slightly embarrassed for being caught.

"Wait, you didn't finish this one," Santana said, pointing to the S+R=.

Rachel blushed slightly, but Santana passed it off as the cold, "It was because I don't know what we are. I sat in the store trying to pick out which one I wanted to finish it with, but I didn't know if I should have gotten a smiley face, or a bff or a heart or a-"

"You were thinking about getting a heart?" Santana asked in barely a whisper. Her heart was beating very fast. What would a heart mean? Would it be a friendly kind of love, sisterly love or something more? Or would it even mean anything? And why was Santana hoping that it was something more? When had these feelings erupted?

Looking back at Rachel, Santana noticed that the diva was blushing furiously, "Oh... I didn't mean for that to come out. I mean, if you didn't mind than I did. But if you didn't want it to come out than I didn't mean it. I'm not implying that I'm embarrassed of you! I-I... it's just... you and... UGH!"

Santana laughed at the other brunette's loss for words. She threw her head back and laughed but quickly stopped. Rachel noticed this and followed the latina's eyes. Looking above her, Rachel's mouth nearley unhinged itself from opening so wide.

Sitting right above them was mistletoe. Rachel knew that her dad had placed them randomly around the house to suprise their relatives. They never told Rachel where but right now, she didn't know if she was thankful or wanted to smack her dads. The only way to find out was to just go along with it.

Santana's mind was running circles. She had no clue what to do, she was never good at this type of stuff. Usually she would run but Rachel deserved better than that. It was _very_ awkward, neither of them knew what to do.

"Mistletoe," Santana whispered. She mentally slapped herself. Of course it was misltetoe! How could she sound so stupid.

"Y-yeah," Rachel said.

They both looked at eachother. Something, _something_ must have been magical about this night, they could both feel it. Simultainiously they both leaned in. Getting so close that they could feel eachothers breath. Their eyes fluttered shut and they could almost feel the magic come to life.

"Girls? Are you out-oh," Alech said as he opened the back door. Santana and Rachel jumped apart, the mood ruined.

_So close!_ Santana thought. They were in fact very close to kissing. Santana was frustrated, Rachel was furious, and Alech was confused.

"Um," Alech said, scratching the back of his head, "I'll be inside if you girls need anything."

He left and they could practically hear him yell, "Charlie! You owe me ten bucks!"

Laughing, they both couldn't believe what almost happened. What would it mean if they did? Santana was partially thankful that it didn't happen. If it had happened, it would be more questions that needed answers. Don't get her wrong, though, she did want it to happen, but not right now. Rachel felt the same, except if her and Santana had kissed, she would be left in confusion. She didn't know if she was straight, bisexual, or gay. Now that something had almost happened with another female, she would be able to think about who she was exactly.

Rachel stood up and walked over to the banister. Santana shortly joined her. They just stood in silence, not awkward, just comfortable silence. Both enjoying the other's company. Gazing at the sky, they saw a shooting star pass by.

"Make a wish," They said in unison.

Closing her eyes, Santana wished, and so did Rachel. What they had wished for, well neither would know till it came true. Maybe they wished for eachother, maybe for something else, but the other wouldn't find out for a while.

They went inside and Charlie and Alech gave the two a knowing look. They didn't say anything, but they knew. Funny, how the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree.

Entering Rachel's room, they both climbed into bed and Rachel held Santana. They had become accustomed to this since Christmas break. Santana didn't have any nightmares when she was with Rachel. Rachel just wanted to protect Santana from the world, but the only way she could do that was to hold her and keep the latina until the sun came up. Now it seemed as if it was more than a friendly gesture.

The next day, it seemed that the Christmas magic didn't wear off. Or, maybe it wasn't Christmas magic at all, maybe it was always there and it took an insignificant moment for them to see it. Even if they couldn't see it before, they could see it now, and that's what truly counts.

* * *

><p><strong>AN1: HEY GUYS! TWO POSTS IN ONE DAY! I KNOW! NEW WORLD RECORD! HAHA WELL HERE IS A LITTLE PEZBERRY, BUT I HAD TO WAIT TILL I WRITE THE NEW YEARS ONE! HAHA <strong>

**AN2: I THINK IN MY LAST CHAPTER I WROTE RACHEL'S NAME WRONG AND I APOLOGIZE FOR IT, BUT IT WAS ONE IN THE MORNING AND WHEN I'M TIRED I SEEM TO RECIEVE A DECLINE IN IQ.**

**AQ1: DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS? **

**AN3: THOSE OF YOU WAITING FOR 'HEAL' I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IT IN A LONG TIME, I JUST HAD MAJOR BRAIN FART BUT I THINK I KNOW WHERE TO GO WITH IT NOW! **

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GLEE BUT A PERSON CAN DREAM RIGHT? 3 **


	7. New Year, New Beginnings

**HAPPY NEW YEARS TO EVERYONE! 2012... I CAN JUST FEEL THE MAGIC. I WANTED TO THANK YOU ALL WHO HAVE BEEN POSTING, FAVORITING, FOLLOWING, OR JUST READING MY STORY/STORIES! YOU ALL HAVE BEEN REALLY WONDERFUL AND TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I THANK YOU, HERE IS SOME PEZBERRY GOODNESS! AND LONG TOO! :)))))) 3333333333**

Chapter 7: New Year, New Beginings!

To say Santana was very nervous about the New Years party Rachel was hosting, was an understatement. Even if it was just the glee kids, Santana didn't know how she could handle it. Not only did she have to face Brittany without crying, but she also had to contain herself from beating up Artie, or Finn if he got too cozy with Rachel. The latina had no idea how these feelings developed.

After Christmas, things between Santana and Rachel had been tense. Well, not in the bad kind of way, but there has been more sexual tension and flirting. They would leave lingering touches, snide remarks, sometimes leaving the other person very flustered and very turned on. Sometimes there would be lustful gazes and passionate remarks that would leave them wondering what was going on. One instance definately stuck out:

_Santana and Rachel were joking around at the latina's house when Rachel threw a pillow at the taller girl. The said brunette looked over at the diva and smiled._

_"Oh it's on!" she screamed and jumped on top of Rachel. _

_It turned into and hour long pillow fight. Then they went into a few minutes of a tickle fight, and then Santana was being chased around by Rachel in an all out game of tug of war. When Rachel entered the latina's room, Santana paused, not liking where this was going. Exiting the room, the diva had a thong from the latina's underwear drawer._

_"Santana Lopez, do your parents know about this?" Rachel said with a mischevious smirk on her face, waving the lacey undergarment around._

_Smiling, Santana chased after Rachel. She would lunge, then miss by a thread of space. In all honesty, Santana wasn't even trying because she was having too much fun to let it end. It was the first time in a very long time that the latina had ever let anyone close to her and she sort of... enjoyed it; being able to share your inner most thoughts and feelings with someone, but having your moments of fun and to just let go. _

_They ran downstairs and back. Rachel stood by the banister pointing to the chandaleir, "What would happen if these ended up on there?" She asked in feigned innocense._

_"You wouldn't dare Berry," Santana grinned._

_"Wanna bet?" _

_Just as Rachel was about to throw, Santana rushed forward and nearly shoved the smaller girl over the banister. Rachel dropped the undergarment and turned around. Santana's arms were flaining in front of her as if she had lost her balance. The next thing Rachel knew was the thin, warm, soft, but hard body against hers. She caught Santana around the waist as the latina put her hands on either side of the banister. When they pulled back, both girls froze. They felt something, that same something that has been lingering in the air since Christmas, arise again. _

_Rachel lightly rubbed circles with her thumbs accross Santana's hips. Unknowingly, they let out a content sigh, slowly closed their eyes, and opened them in synchronous motion. Santana leaned forward and Rachel moved closer, then someones phone vibrated. Santana dropped her head onto Rachel's shoulder and laughed. She wasn't amused, just frustrated beyond belief. So many moments like this had happened, they would get close, but something would break the bubble. What made the latina the most aggrivated was the fact that this time, she actually thought it would work. She knew she was getting closer into Rachel's heart._

_Usually Rachel would become awkward and leave to attend to whatever intterupted them, but after a while she would move at a slightly decreased pace. This time, was different. Rachel pushed back Santana and smiled. Standing up on her tip toes, Rachel gave a quick peck onto Santana's cheek and hurried away._

_As Rachel brushed by, Santana thought she heard the whispered words, "Soon."_

All thoughts in the latina's mind was, _This better happen soon. Any more UST and i might just take her the moment we get even a mile close!_ Santana was really starting to wonder if someone up there had it in for her. Maybe it was her Papi, he always hated Santana for some reason. Maybe it was because she allways got the attention from her abuela that he never got. She shuddered at THAT image.

Never had Santana been more anctious than waiting in Rachel's basement than now. It was a few minutes until everyone arrived, and from her knowledge, everyone was carpulling in Kurt's dad's truck. It was ten o'clock and the latina hears the door open and familiar voices.

"Kurt, while I understand your relationship between you and Blaine, I did not need to be subject to your lip lock show in the backseat of your father's truck. Even Noah looked petrified," Rachel said, causing Santana to smirk.

"Hey! I am all go for girl on girl, just guys... no, just... no," Puck's voice resounded.

"Quinn, I'll take your jacket and hang it up for you, you can go and sit downstairs so you can rest," Sam said.

"No that's okay, I was sitting in the truck for almost an hour, I just want to stretch out my muscles," Quinn replied, and Santana pictured her fluttering her eyes at Sam and blushing.

"Rachel, ugh, are your dads home?" Finn asked. He sounded a little nervous at the thought of the Rachel's dads and Santana tookselfish pleasure knowing that.

"Obviously not Finn, I wouldn't be able to allow Puck to sneak in beer and other alchoholic substances without them gone. I also mentioned that they wouldn't be here when I was talking to you, didn't I?" Rachel's voice sounded sweet, too sweet for it to be sincere. If Finn really listened, he would have heard her annoyance.

"I guess I uh, zoned out," Finn said.

As there voices started to get closer, Santana's heart started to beat faster. If she thought meeting Rachel's family was bad, she was wrong. These were people who kknew just how much she tortured Rachel and they even felt the latina's fierce cruelty more than once. If they said something to her, asked her what happened to her, she might just break, again.

There was a slight pause at the stairs into Rachel's basement when Mike and Puck had to carry Artie down the stairs. The wheelchair boy must have gotten over his hatred of Santana. He just smiled at her and looked very embarrased. Brittany must have explained to him what happened. Santana was also informed a few days before that Artie tried to ask Brittany out again, but she refused.

Next, Mercedes and Tina came down the steps with Kurt, gossiping about god knows what. They always had a new story. Sam and Quinn came down the stairs, or in other words, Sam carried Quinn bridle style down the stairs looking sickenly cute. Next came Finn, who caused Santana to growl for not even waiting to let Rachel through the door first, like a true gentleman should. Finally Rachel, then Brittany, then Lauren entered. The whole glee club was here, just like the last time. It was the same situation except a few different things.

Finn was the first to notice. He got a dopey grin on his face, but made no move to approach her. Turns out that seeing Brittany didn't upset the latina as much as she though it would. She had a hunch as to why, but didn't really want to think about it at the moment.

The glee family all welcomed Santana with open arms, like she never threw an insult or a slushie. Relief flooded through her when she hugged Brittany and didn't feel her heart start to beat faster than normal. Soon, everyone was drinking, singing, talking, and just _being._ Here, it seemed like no one did any wrong and that they weren't bullied or losers. They were friends, who loved eachother no matter what.

Just as Santana's beer bottle was emptied, another one popped in front of her face. She took it without saying thanks. Looking up to see who was responsible, she was none other face to face with Finn Hudson. He smiled at her and sat down. They didn't really say anything, but anytime Santana's beer ran empty, the boy would have one for her in the blink of an eye. She never noticed that he would get more comfortable each time she downed another drink. After a while, he stroked her arm and started to whisper in her arm.

"Hey, why don't we get out of here and go find something... better to do?" He said.

Shrugging him off, Santana replied, "No thanks."

No matter how many tries to get her in bed, she kept refusing. He seemed to get rougher each time. He would pull her to him and she would just push him away. He would grip her arm and whisper crude comments that really didn't do _anything _for Santana. She didn't make a big deal about it because she didn't want to ruin anyone's night. It got to the point where Finn was trying to place his lips on any part of the latina he could reach.

"Finn, please, Finn... STOP!" Santana yelled, getting up and grabbing everyone's attention. It was silent, except for the booming music.

Rachel came out of no where and lightly grasped Santana's elbow. When Finn stood up, Rachel pulled Santana behind her, and that seemed to piss Finn off to a major 'Finn-a-Fit'.

"Why are you defending her Rachel? She's just a slut and it's just a matter of time before she and I are in bed, _again." _Finn said, Rachel wincing at his every tone.

"Just because you are such a prude doesn't mean I have to be one, too. We were over because you can't give it up. I guess it rubbed off on that bitch,too. You two are really friendly nowadays, maybe Santana gayed you up," Rachel felt Santana stiffen and that's when Puck finally decided to speak up.

"Whaoh, dude calm down. Just because Santana says no, that isn't a reason to say those things," Puck said, not daring to approach the angry and somewhat drunk Finn.

"They're all true. You all are thinking it, I just can't help it that I'm calling a dyke for what a dyke is," Finn raised his eyebrow, daring anyone to prove him wrong.

"Aw hell no!" Santana heard Mercedes say.

That seemed to launch everyone into action. Santana broke down in tears, falling to the ground while Rachel comforted her. Sam was holding Puck back from trying to beat the crap out of Finn. Tina was being held back by Mike, who knew an asian girl could bring it more than her boyfriend? Lauren was screaming in Finn's face, she may not like Santana, but no one says that to anyone. Quinn was able to slap Finn across the face that it was heard over the music. After a few minutes, Brittany took Finn and forcefully dragged him out of the basement and upstairs.

Everyone was checking to see if Santana was okay. Rachel noticed how the taller brunette seemed to be very stiff and could tell she was going back behind her walls. Rachel couldn't let that happen. She dragged Santana the side room, telling everyone that they would be out and ot enjoy the party. Closing the door, it seemed quiet, only the base was felt through the floor.

Sniffling, Santana spoke, "He's right Rachel."

"No he's not! What makes you think he is?"

"I'm horrible! To everyone, even the glee club when they were my only family after I quit cherios! I was horrible to you and here you are, acting like it never happened when obviously, it did. How can you forgive me for what I did? I slept with your boyfriend and then embarrased you by announcing it in front of the whol glee club, even told you he bought me dinner after. How can you not remember that?" Santana was in hysterics. Rachel turned and locked the door, she then sat down next to Santana on the bed in the room.

"I didn't forget. But I did forgive," Rachel spoke softly, taking Santana's hand, "An realizing that you were in as much pain as I was all those years, helps me heal. You hurt me, more than ever," Santana winces, not thinking she can take this mental beat down, but takes it anyways, "but you never gave me a reason not to forgive you. Yes you may have done horrible things, but that doesn't mean it was because tou are horrible. You were hurting, and you didn't have anyone to talk to or any way of handling it. So, it's easy to forgive," Rachel blushes and looks down, "especially when it's you."

They shared a moment. Another moment, or maybe it was their twentieth moment, but this one was definately different. A loud noise of cheers resounded from the room next to them.

"Happy New Year Rachel."

"Happy New Year Santana."

Anyone who was watching would have been able to tell the girl's which one leaned in first, but no one was with them. The door was locked, and everyone was stuck in their own worlds. No adults, no phones, no perving mailman (Lets not revisit that terrifying moment shall we?) it was just Rachel and Santana.

When there lips met, it was silent. The type of silence that affects your eardrums as a plain is taking off. You can't hear anything and it feels like your whole head would explode. The pressure is so unreal that you can't imagine what it would feel like to have this feeling go away. Then you hear the resounding pop that speeds up time and everything around you, trying to catch up to itself. You feel a longing but you feel complete all at the same time. This is what Santana and Rachel felt as they kissed.

They deepened thekiss and as soon as tounge met tounge, a spark of electricity pulsed in one another through their bones to their very cores. It seemed as though their very senses were inhanced and were aware of every thing around them, but most importantly, they felt eachother.

Befor it could be prossessed, they were stripped of almost all of thier clothes, except for their undergarments. After a while, Rachel had them on the bed and was turning her attention to Santana's kneck, giving the latina air and time to actually process what they were doing. When she came to this realization, she sat up. Rachel was still going at it though.

"Rach- oh! Rachel," She gently pulled the tiny diva off of her, who pouted. For a moment Santana marveled at how someone doing something so naughty could look so innocent. Pecking the small brunette's lips, shivering because the feeling was still there the second time, Santana pulled the covers over them and held Rachel.

"Not yet, I'm not ready and I'm pretty sure you aren't either. So, for now, just let me hold you, please," Santana said with so much question and vulnerability Rachel calmed and just let Santana hold her.

"Okay," Rachel was getting tired.

They fell asleep that night. For the first time, Santana was the one to hold and protect Rachel. She doesn't know from what exactly, just that she needed to protect her. They would have the unavoidable talk about the elephant that just made itself visible. But for now, they could start the new year in the thought of new beginnings to something even better than before.

**AN1: HEY GUYS! SOO SOOO SOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR THE VERY LONG PERIOD OF TIME THAT I HAVE NOT WRITTEN. DON'T WORRY, I PROMISE NOW THAT THERE WILL BE FASTER UPDATES SINCE THE STRESS OF HAVING EXAMS IS NOW GONE. I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS CHAPTER. **

**AN2: I'M PLANNING ON WRITING A SIDE CHAPTER ON WHAT HAPPENED WHEN BRITTANY TOOK FINN OUTSIDE. **

**AN3: YES I AM PLANNING ON HAVING THEM BE TOGETHER AND THERE PROBABLY WON'T BE ANYMORE FINN BASHING. WELL, IN THE PRESENT TIME AT LEAST ;)**

**AQ1: DID THIS CHAPTER LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS? **

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY PART OF GLEE, BUT I CAN STILL MAKE IT AWESOME AND TO THE WAY MY VIEWERS WANT IT... SO BEAT THAT! JUST KIDDING.**


	8. Fierce

**AN1: HEY GUYS SORRY I HAVENT WRITTEN LATELY I JUST WASN'T AS INSPIRED RECENTLY AND INSTEAD OF GIVING YOU GUYS A SUCKY STORY I THOUGHT I WOULD WAIT UNTIL THE TIME IS RIGHT… THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AFTER BRITTANY TOOK OUT FINN TO CALM HIM DOWN… I PERSONALLY THINK THAT THESE TWO CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW WERE MADE FOR EACHOTHER… AND ANYONE OUT THERE WHO READS MY STORIES, FEEL FREE TO PM ME AND TELL ME…**

**AN2: TO thatdamnyank I KNOW THAT WHAT RACHEL DID FOR SANTANA WASN'T REAL BUT I NEEDED TO SHOW HOW MISERABLE SANTANA WAS AND I BELIEVE THAT RACHEL IS PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING… THIS STORY ISN'T ANGST **

**AN3: I ALSO APOLOGIZE FOR THE NAME MIX UP… I DID NOT REALIZE THAT RACHEL'S DADS' NAMES WERE HIRAM AND LEROY, I THOUGHT PEOPLE MADE UP WHATEVER NAMES THEY WANTED FOR THEM…**

Chapter 8: Fierce

Finn was a raging mess. He couldn't understand why Rachel would go out with that slut Santana! Then they embarrass him and Brittany is with him now sitting on the porch, away from the party…

"Why are you mad at them?" Brittany asks.

"Because, Santana is a slut and she'll just use Rachel and they aren't meant to be together, Rachel and I are!"

"But Finn, it didn't work out the first couple times, what makes you think it will work now?"

"I-," Finn stops, he knows that the blonde girl is right. He sits down and sighs, resting his head in his hands, "Rachel was the only girl that would put up with me being an idiot. I know I'm not smart and will probably be a Lima loser, I just wanted one good thing, one thing that I was successful at."

"And you think that calling the girl she loves and will provide her true happiness is the way to do it? You were being an idiot by doing that and she didn't put up with it. Right now I think that Santana and Rachel need someone who can support them and have their backs," Brittany always was smarter than people thought she was. The blonde sat down next to the giant boy.

"DO you really think Rachel loves her?" Finn asked.

"Yes I do. Santana isn't as tough as she looks and I think… whoa not something you hear from me every day," Brittany comments, laughing at her own joke. "Anyways, I do think that Rachel is good for Santana. Rachel is persistent and Santana is stubborn, but only because she doesn't want people to take pity on her."

Finn shook his head in understanding. The two teens sat in silence for a while; Finn was trying to get over his buzz and Brittany was humming to "My Head Band". After a while some stars came out. A beautiful shooting star zoomed by and both Brittany and Finn made a wish.

"Lord Tubington never would let me wish on a shooting star. He says that's how aliens try to collect our memory to make clones of us and take over our world. I o it anyway," Brittany said.

Finn smiled and asked, "What did you wish for?"

"You to kiss me," Brittany said as she blushed and looked down.

When she moved her head back up, Finn was staring at her with his big, puppy dog eyes and slowly moved in. they kissed each other and sparks flew, better than anything they have experienced. Finn smiled because he believed that he finally found someone who he could say was his most successful experience. Brittany smiled because she found someone who will never call her stupid or love her enough to believe her fully.

For both team Pezberry and team Fierce… it was an awesome night.


	9. Theumtalk?

**HEY GUYS SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE, LET'S JUST SAY I AM WORKING A LOT AND I AM NOT EVEN OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL, AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A JOB! HAHA I HAVE NO CLUE HOW I ENDED UP DOING SO MUCH, I GUESS THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE 3 FINAL EXAM PROJECTS, 1 POWERPOINT PRESENTATION SPEECH, 1 MODEL OF A MARS HABITAT TO BUILD FOR NASA, A CHORUS SOLO TO WORK ON, A SCIENCE FAIR THINGY TO MEMORIZE, AND OTHER STUFF MIXED IN. LET'S GET ON WITH THE STORY, SHALL WE?**

**Chapter 9: The… um… talk?**

Santana was going to kill whoever decided to take a thousand hammers and repeatedly smash them against her head. Namely, one Finn Hudson for getting her drunk. She was, however, not angry at the small, bra clad frame she was holding. Speaking of which, how the hell did she and Rachel end up in the same bed and both in their bras and jeans? Santana groaned as she remembered the night's events, but soon started to laugh, then cry. She was so afraid of what Rachel would think when she woke up. Santana didn't even know if Rachel was on something when they kissed. What if all they felt was the alcohol talking? That changed when Rachel let out the cutest sigh and opened her big almond eyes and looked up at Santana. The way the Latina's breath caught told Santana that what she felt for Rachel wasn't the cause of being intoxicated and the blush of the shorter brunette also said the same thing.

"I'm sorry Santana," Rachel said as she lay her head back down on the other girl's chest.

"For what?" Santana asked.

"I was moving too quickly, and I'm not even sure if you like me that way," Rachel said, tears brimming in her eyes.

Santana lifted Rachel's chin and slowly kissed her. The way their lips moved in unison was magical. It felt as though someone had created them to be able to mold themselves into each other with little effort. Santana opened her mouth, granting Rachel access. There wasn't a fight for dominance, just a need for assurance. They explored one another's mouth, trying to remember every taste, every touch, the way the opposite person's body would respond when they would press their tongue here or there. They wanted to feel everything, but of course, humans have lungs and a need for oxygen to survive, so they broke apart.

"Does anything about that kiss say that I don't feel the same way?" Santana asked a little breathless from the intensity of the moment.

Rachel smiled, it was a sincere one, it was the type of smile that didn't reach your eyes, but expressed how content you are, and "I guess it doesn't, but we do need to talk about this," Rachel gestured to their bodies, "whatever this is."

"I want us to be something, I just… I don't want- I want you but-," Santana didn't know how to express what she wanted to say.

"We should wait. Start out slow so we both know that we want this," Rachel finished, a slight smile on her face.

"When did you know?" Santana asked. When Rachel blinked, she elaborated, "that you wanted this?"

"The second day I found you and gave you a ride home," Rachel replied, reliving the memory.

_Santana was sitting in the auditorium, alone as usual. She was thinking about what Rachel did the day before. It was a small act of kindness, but it made her feel cared for that at least someone was trying. She knew that she shouldn't feel this hopeful; she wasn't sure if that was a one-time deal or if it was a mistake that would never happen again. Maybe the diva was just being nice? Santana was tired, she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep._

_Rachel was looking all over for Santana, she knew the girl must have still been in the school, but she wasn't in any of the bathrooms or the glee room. Rachel ran into the auditorium and saw a lone figure in one of the seats. She ran down the aisle and stopped when she saw Santana sleeping. _

_The Latina looked so peaceful, yet still so guarded. Rachel wondered if the taller girl ever was vulnerable. She brushed a stray hair from Santana's face, causing the girl's eyes to flutter open. The way Santana's eyes ore into Rachel made the girl shiver. It was like someone had sent her out into the cold for hours and then Santana's eyes blanketed her in warmth; in hope. Santana let her walls down for Rachel, but only for a second before they quickly became guarded and silent._

"Do you know how special you made me feel? It was as if you believed it was okay to let me actually see you for a second, but then you got scared. I always knew you were beautiful, I just never realized that you are truly breathtaking till then," Rachel said holding onto the Latina even tighter. She smiled when Santana returned it.

"When did you know?" Rachel asked.

"The night you kissed my scars when I cut, you thought I was asleep, but I wasn't. I have _never _had someone do something like that. It felt like you were trying to kiss away my wounds, not only on the outside, but on the inside as well. I felt so protected and no one has ever made me feel that way. That night was one of the first nights I forgot about Brittany, and just relished in your touch, your warmth, and the way you and me started to fit," Santana said, a content sigh rolling out of her mouth.

"Go on a date with me?" Rachel asked. "I know we said we are going to take it slow, but I just want to take this step. I understand if it is too fast for you. I can wait, as long as I have to, but I really want to show you what it is like to be… romanced," Rachel continued, blushing when she realized she went into a mini ramble.

"I would love to. Oh, and we can work on your little 'talking too much' problem, but later because I find it adorable," Santana said, smirking at Rachel as the said girl blushed.

Santana now had a new mission, to make Rachel blush as much as she could, too kiss Rachel as much as possible, and to lavish the girl in praise and maybe, just maybe, try to love again.

**AN1: SO WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK? TOO LITTLE? TOO MUCH? UPDATES ARE SLOW, AND I'M NOT GOING TO LIE, THEY ARE PROBABLY GOING TO CONTINUE BEING SLOW, BUT HOPEFULLY NOT AS MUCH.**

**AN2: I HAVEN'T BEEN UPDATING MY OTHER STORY AS MUCH AND I AM SOOOO SORRY AND I WILL BE UPDATING RIGHT AFTER THIS STORY, SO THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE WAITING FOR AN UPDATE ON IT, GO CHECK IT OUT NOW!**

**AQ1: SO WHAT WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE TO HAPPEN? MORE HURT/COMFORT MOMENTS? MORE FINN AND BRITTANY? OR MAYBE TEAR THEM UP?**

**AQ2: BESIDES SANTANA AND RACHEL I WANT TO KNOW WHAT PAIRINGS YOU GUYS WANT TO SEE, AND IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SOME OF THE PARENTS IN IT MORE. I'M NOT GOING TO LIST ANY PAIRINGS, BUT THE PAIRINGS I GET THE MOST OF I WILL EITHER a) GIVE THEM THEIR OWN SIDE STORY; b) FEATURE THEM WITH PEZBERRY; c) DO BOTH, BUT I HAVEN'T FIGURED WHAT I WANT TO DO JUST YET. **

**DISCLAIMER! I TRULY WISH THAT I OWNED GLEE BECAUSE IT WOULD BE SOO AWESOME, BUT SADLY I DON'T... SORRY IF THAT UPSETS ANYONE... ;)**


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